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Resistance Bands - The New Church



I know, I’m a horrible person for comparing a resistance band to a church. I’m fully prepared to explain myself at the gates of heaven, right after I finish my resistance band workout (you can travel with the resistance bands you know).


And when that happens, I will simply tell the great maker in the sky that I was trying to enlighten the minds and bodies of those who were in need of fitness in their life. To eradicate the demons of sin that were pushed upon the people by doing a set of resistance band squats.


Can you imagine if at your next church sermon, you all stood up and followed a resistance band workout by the leader of the clergy? How awesome would it be if everyone wore workout clothes to the house of worship?


Lutherans let’s be honest you already do. The 12 Apostles sitting at the table with Jesus would be altered with John and Matthew doing a viscous triceps routine while Bartholomew did a set of banded pushups on the table with Jesus instructing the workouts.


Judas? Well he would be cheating on his set of course.


At communion there is always bread and wine. Let’s say we replace that with Gatorade and energy cubes to keep you hydrated and energized. The body of Christ would take on a whole new meaning, no? Nuns would become the new fitness trainers of the world. Who better to crack the ruler if you need to push someone through a hardcore resistance band back routine?


I mean lets be honest, they kind of have that reputation don’t they? I rest my case.




What if the Pope led a massive resistance band arm workout at the Vatican on a holiday morning? Thousands of people building the biceps by the almighty Pope seems to be a strong arm move, no? The Pope leading the Lord’s prayer with a new addition to encourage the fitness seems right. Think about it, you would come out of the service feeling like you got the badness out of your heart and gave your heart a great workout all in the same time frame.


Let us not forget the Bible Belt where resistance band training would be the gospel. Instead of singing from the hymns with your hands held high above your shoulders, you would have a resistance band in both hands and working the front deltoids until the demons of the week left your body. Preachers in the South would lead a different kind of “resistance” fight. One that would actually help us all. How poetic.


What about the two 20-year-olds who are dressed in a suit (in July) who ride their bikes from door to door pushing the word of god? I can envision them switching out their mini bibles for mini resistance band loops. The ones that allow you to get a killer leg work out in and who better to lead an intense leg session in your living room or on your front porch then two college kids on scholarship? Exactly.


Yes, it’s probably safe to say that my mind thinks in different ways but finding fitness in your life can certainly be compared to finding religion. People give up the bad and opt for the church all the time and the same can be said for exercise. To be honest, a great workout is very comparable to a religious experience. You feel better, your life seems changed and you find a higher power to cleanse your body.


I make the comparison of the Resistance Band to the Church in jest of course but I do highly value the resistance band workout. So much so that I created my own fitness platform called Fitness Made Easy where my goal is to help you make fitness part of your life. If you are wondering how to do “Fitness” and “Easy” go together, its not as foreign as you might think.


The goal is simply to find the right path. Here is a secret that you can share at your next church visit. Exercising is easy, even holy if you want it to be. Getting to the exercise is hard and can be the devil. The key? Find a platform that helps you eliminate as many of the bad things as possible to make getting to the holy spot attainable.


That what Fitness Made Easy is and does. It’s a platform created to make the fitness in your life a church experience. We have over 250 workouts with some thing for everyone under the heavens to try. I am not a certified personal trainer, rather someone who has been in the fitness game for over 25 years and like to make things easy for everyone to enjoy.


It begs the question do you think on the seventh day that god created the resistance band?


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